Michael Harper’s Message to Coaches and Parents: Play the Long Game
Michael Harper is living at both ends of the junior tennis pathway. His daughter recently signed to play Division I tennis at Washington State University. His 8-year-old son is just starting to play. In between, Harper runs MH Tennis, a boutique tennis program in Boca Raton, Fla., focused primarily on foundational development for young players on a performance track.
That perspective, as a coach, a tennis parent and a father, has Harper thinking intently about what kids need from the adults around them.
Choose the Parent Relationship First
“I made a decision very early on that if I ever had to choose between being dad and being a coach, I would always choose being dad,” Harper says. “That’s been a north star or non-negotiable for me.
Harper’s message is especially relevant for parents who are trying to support a child’s tennis journey without letting the sport strain the relationship. “You don’t want to have that dynamic where the kid reached the highest heights, but now they don’t speak to their parents,” he says.
For Harper, that means knowing when to push, when to step back and when to leave tennis at the court. If a practice goes poorly, the car ride home and dinner table still matter. The parent-child relationship has to be protected.
“I made a decision very early on that if I ever had to choose between being dad and being a coach, I would always choose being dad.”
Michael Harper
Know When Your Child Needs Another Voice
Around age 16, Harper decided his daughter needed other coaching voices. He stayed involved, but he was no longer the primary voice on court.
“She needed more dad than coach,” he says. “At a minimum, she didn’t need to be hearing me all the time. ‘Bend your knees’ now sounds like ‘clean your room.’ ‘Split step’ sounds like ‘Did you get your homework done?’ It just all starts to blend.”
Celebrate Each Child’s Unique Path
Harper sees several common mistakes among tennis parents, especially early in the pathway. The first is gathering information from the wrong places. Parents naturally talk to other parents at tournaments, but Harper cautions against building a plan based on someone else’s child.
“Their child’s journey is very different than your child’s journey,” he says. “There are so many reasons not to compare and contrast at all.”
Keep Junior Competition in Perspective
Another issue is how families view competition. Unlike many team sports, junior tennis often lacks a clear season structure. Families can rush from tournament to tournament and treat every match as proof of whether or not their child is improving.
“No other sport asks kids to keep their own score, call their own lines, run their own plays, do all of the performing at 8, 9, 10 years old,” Harper says. “We have to recognize that there has to be some space for growth along that pathway.”
Teach Players to Solve Problems
For coaches, Harper believes parent education is essential. Especially with younger players, he wants parents close enough to understand what progress actually looks like: skill acquisition, problem-solving, movement, decision-making and long-term development, not just wins and losses.
He also wants players to become thinkers. “If I can help kids learn to just see the game and ask questions and be open-minded to finding solutions, I think that as a foundational piece sets me up for mental success long term,” he says.
That starts with coaches and parents asking better questions instead of immediately giving answers. Harper often reminds families that “the brain that does the thinking does the learning.”
Build Trust Through Parents, Then Through Connection
The same principle applies to trust. Coaches need to build relationships with parents, because young players often borrow trust from the adults they already rely on. “Transferred trust is one of the strongest ways to quickly gain trust,” Harper says.
Coaches have to connect with kids as people. That may mean understanding their world, their interests and their language. It also means respecting their intelligence.
“We often underestimate how intelligent kids are,” Harper says. “By asking them and showing them, ‘I respect the way you’re thinking,’ you give them autonomy and involve them in the process.”
Make Decisions for the 10-Year Plan
Above all, Harper wants parents and coaches to remember the length of the journey. “This is a long road,” he says. “It’s rewarding and it can be amazing, but make sure that you’re seeing the whole picture.”
His advice is simple: build for the player your child is becoming, not just the results you want next season. “Set it for the 10-year plan, not the two-year,” Harper says. “Make it with the 10 years in mind, not the next six months exclusively.”
That longer view can change the entire experience. It shifts the focus from chasing every short-term edge to creating an environment where a young athlete can keep growing, keep learning and still love the game years from now.
